When I think, When I see, How I feel
by DontBeAZombie
Summary: Peter is struggling with the moral implications of dating a Raccoon. M for Language and sexual discussion. (Considering expanding this into a multi-chapter fic, if interested leave a review letting me know)


Rocket was lying on a pillow that was just big enough to fit his whole size. His eyes were closed as he was fast asleep that night. Beside him was what most people would refer to as his boyfriend, though they never really used those terms, Peter Quill.

Quill stared at the ceiling, like he did in secret many nights; it seemed he had a lot to think about. The ferried mammal turned over, curling his small body into the crook of the Star lords neck, his cold, wet nose rubbed Quills bear neck, making him shiver.

"mmm, Why aren't ya sleepin?" Rocket's voice was a surprise to hear as Quill was sure he was sleeping, it sounded rougher when he was tired, or maybe he needed water.

"Just thinking.." Quill had to think fast, he didn't want to tell Rocket what was on his mind, so what was something the other would buy.

That's when rocket opened his eyes slightly, he put his chin on Quills shoulder so he was facing up at him "Watch 'a got on your mind?"

"…I was worried I left a light on down stairs" Nailed it

Rocket didn't look impressed "That's a load of shit" Fuck, guess not, Quill thought

Rocket sighed "Listen, if you don't want to talk bout it I won't pry" He yawned, his whiskers rubbing Quills cheek "Just don't let it mess ya up" Rocket scratched his chin before he sat up. He patted out some of his fur which was crushed on one side, making his face look uneven.

"Hows about I help ya sleep?" He suggested with a cheeky grin

"Not going back to bed?" Quill asked, his heart beating a little as Rocket climbed ontop of his chest, straddling him in a way "naa, I got a better idea" Rocket grinned, Quill felt his heart pick up at the suggestive tone "Since the others are all fast asleep why don't we have a bit of dirty ol fun" He asked, nuzzling the others cheek, then leaning closer to Quills lips. He was close to connecting before he was abruptly stopped.

"Comon Rocket.. its late, lets just get some sleep" Quill said as he turned over, making Rocket fall back onto the other side of Quills bed. "..Wait, what?! Are you fucking kidding me?"

Quill wasn't expecting such a reaction; he got onto his back and looked at the other, who looked angry. "Rocket, relax I'm just tired"

Rocket growled "You've been distant ever since I've started sleeping in your room" He pointed out "You've been avoiding being alone with me.."

"What? No, No I've not" He insisted, but was lying

"Then why do you always turn me down?"

"I'm just not ready.."

"Not ready? You've fucked girls after knowing them less than an hour, you'd fuck Gamora the second you saw her, She stole your shit and kicked your ass, yet you'd still have fucked her" Rocket pointed out "Why aren't you ready with me?"

"I just.. don't want to ruin this Rocket" He sighed "I just want to wait"

"We've been sharing the same bed for three months now and you've not touched me once" He growled "Do you not like men?" Rocket seemed confused, almost careful as he was worried the answer might not be what he wanted to hear.

"No, I mean yes I do like men—"

"Then you just don't really love me, that it?" He looked saddened by that

"Rocket you know that's not true, I love you" It was hard for Rocket to tell if Quill was being sincere or not. "Then why haven't we fucked already!?" Rocket asks his frustration obvious.

"Well?" Rocket waited for an answer, his voice was much calmer, but that only made Quill worry more, he looked away from Rocket before he began to speak, giving the Raccoon what he wanted to hear.

"I just…when I close my eyes I love you, I know how much I love you, I think about your personality, your laughter, your intelligence… I see you for who you are, but when I look at you.. I see an animal. I can't bring myself to do it..with an animal"

Rocket stayed quiet as he let all that sink in, Quill was so afraid to let him talk that he tried to save himself the best he could

"Wait, let me try that again.. I love you for who you are; but.. when we're face to face..I can't see past…it, and I just can't Rocket…I love you, but I just can't." He gestured to Rockets body.

A long pause of silence filled the room, the tension was so strong Quill swore he could cut it with a knife, He swallowed hard when Rocket's straight face eventually began to adjust to a proper expression which would reflect his mood.

"an animal huh?…"

"Rocket.."

"That's what it comes down to in the end, I'm just some smelly vermin to you huh? That's all I'm worth, just some stupid fucking animal" Rocket's entire body was trembling.

"I didn't mean it like—"

"Then what the fuck did ya mean?! Ya love me but like what, some kinda pet or some shit?! Am I just a fuckin pet to ya?!"

"Rocket of course not I—"

"Know what I see when I look at you Quill?! A dick, 100% dick!" Rocket jumped off the bed, storming towards the door, although he was small he still managed to look dangerous when angry

"Rocket get back into bed, we can talk about this!" Quill requested "Please let me explain where I'm coming from"

"Explain what!? ya just explained everything ya had to! Shame on me for thinking someone in this Fucking universe didn't care what I was! That someone didn't just see some rodent whenever they looked at me! Clearly I was just being a fucking idiot for believin it!" He stormed out of the room and down the hall, probably to go lay in his long time neglected bed, or tinker with a bomb he could imagine planting on Quill.

"Wait! Rocket! Come on.." Quill walked over to door, he ran into the hall before Rockets door shut in his face, a red light going on to show the other had locked the room. "Rocket, Please.. lets talk about this"

Nothing was heard from the other side, well nothing but tampering.

"I'm not going until we discuss this!" He threatened, soon after he heard a drill turn on, buzzing loudly.

Quill sighed loudly, why did he even have that in there. He looked down the hall to see 6 curious eyes. The one closest to him looked confused and asking "I am Groot?" Quill's cheeks went red, he was embarrassed their team mates had witnessed a fight; making it worse they were all woken up so late in the night. He rubbed his head, then turned to leave. He went into his own room, hearing the gentle humming off Rockets drill as he cursed to himself.

Notes: Just wanted to clarify that this is not an Anti-Pocket fic, I do ship them. Also that I do not consider either character to be in the wrong here. Peter is portrayed as an average human, and the average human isn't attracted to Raccoons, so while he loves Rocket, dating a Raccoon is taboo for him, and not the good kind of taboo!


End file.
